The Bionic Woman...

Well, mostly human, a little bionic. After my last entry, in June of 2023, I had my left hip replaced. It was an anterior incision (in the front) and I am now a year-plus out and back to doing 90-95% of my practice.

In about April or early May of 2023, my PT, my doctor and I came to the realization that nothing was working. If anything, my hip had…disintegrated. Now, I’m no expert. But I can see what a NORMAL hip looks like. And then there was mine. There was no ball and no socket. There was a solid block of…mess. By this time, I was walking with TWO canes, and bent over at about a 45-degree angle. I had lost 20 pounds, and was in extreme pain.

It was time. It was, to be honest, PAST time. After the last PRP treatment failed, after my hip actually locked in an upright position in PT and it took me two full minutes to get it to release? Yeah. Remember how I talk about looking for fireflies instead of fireworks? Well - I ignored my own body. To my peril, I might add.

I was luckily able to not only get subs with my fabulous studio teachers, but to work from home for about 3 months, at my office job. AND - I was extremely lucky to get surgery scheduled about 3 weeks after I decided to do it. They called me the day after I met with my surgeon and said, “How about June 23?” I said, “Really? Oh yeah!” It was my grandma’s birthday, which means I’ll always remember my ‘Hip-aversery.” I sailed through surgery, though my surgeon said he did have a “holy crap” moment when he got in there and physically saw how bad it was. I woke up and they asked me about pain meds, and I said, “Why?”

Honestly, the amount of Tylenol I was taking prior to surgery (because I’m on blood thinners, that’s all I had available to me), and the amount of time I spent underneath an ice pack — it was ridiculous. So to have the new hip, it was a 180-degree change. There was no pain. I felt fabulous. Well, considering that I’d just had major surgery.

They wasted no time in getting me up and around, and by day 2 in the hospital, I was doing stairs, with the help of the PT. I did 12 weeks of PT as an outpatient and slowly resumed my yoga practice. My PT said what my teachers always said, “Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.” So I took it easy.

There are some poses I’ve broken up with. I do pidgeon now with a bolster. When I do it. I still can’t step forward in a downward dog, but I’m working on that. I haven’t done a full squat yet; and I may never do it. I’m careful about external rotation of the hip — I’m hypermobile everywhere BUT there. We call it “The Normal Joint.”

If you’re facing a hip replacement and you feel unsettled, I’m happy to talk with you. I’m not a doctor or a nurse, or a PT. But I am a patient. I can tell you about my experience. Believe me, I put it off. Far too long, I feel. Luckily, my other hip is 100% fine and shows no effects of overuse from the year that I thought I could “fix it” and I’m back on my bicycle.

The two worst things: the post-procedure poop (seriously) and compression socks. Hubby had to help me put them on; I wore them for a week, and my PT looked at my leg and said, “Yeah, nope, time to take them off for good!”

This is a classic “listen to your body” scenario. Live and learn.

Hips Don't Lie...

Shakira was right. Hips don’t lie.

When your hips are “off,” then you know it. Every aspect of your movement, your posture, even your sleep will be affected when your hips are injured or stressed.

Speaking from personal experience, I’ve been going through rehabbing my left hip for about a year now. It’s a torn labrum, with bone spurs. One on the acetabulum (the socket) and one on the femoral head (the ball) — quite the one-two punch. Luckily, the labral tear is only a partial.

I’ve been doing PRP therapy, which is a series of 3 injections, using my own blood, spun down. The plasma is re-injected into the ailing body part. Even though it’s only 3 shots, it will take months to heal - or nearly heal. There are no guarantees. All I know is that cortisone failed (which I knew it would). And no - there’s no hip replacement for a torn labrum.

This has been incredibly humbling. For the last 6 months, I’ve been teaching yoga from a chair. I walk with a cane. My muscle tone needs major work, on that left leg. And even though I’m working on it, progress is incremental.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with incremental progress. Incremental movement, no matter how small, is unstoppable — check water polishing a rock, the glaciers moving over the land, the small movements babies make as they figure out this great big world.

I think this has actually been good for me as a teacher and for my students. They see me in a slightly incapacitated position and they know that in reality, an injury can happen to anyone. Yoga is great for a lot of things, but it’s no cure-all. I’ve hurt myself in yoga more times than I can remember. And it helps us all realize that getting older is indeed not for sissies!

As a teacher, this has helped me refine my teaching. I have, for many, many years, defaulted to just showing the pose while talking through it. Now, though, about 90% of the poses are being cued verbally. I can’t just hop into a Warrior or Triangle, especially on the injured side. So I have to be very precise with my cues. The advantage is that now, I pay more attention to my students.

If you’re taking classes now, talk to your teacher if something has come up with your body. If you’re rehabbing from an injury, or if you’re not sure yoga is right for you, talk to your doctor for clearance and then find a teacher and chat with them. You should never feel pressured to practice. You should only practice within your capabilities. And your teacher should know how to modify a pose or give an alternative.

Hips don’t lie. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have alternatives.

More Things Done...

Well… Let’s check in, shall we?

On a personal note, I’ve got “unicorn hair.” Let me explain — a while ago, my stylist did some highlights, just for fun. And I’ve kept them up. I have a new stylist (same salon, the original person moved on), and she asked me the other day, “How do you feel about unicorn highlights?” Well. Heck. It’s hair. If I really dislike it, it’ll wash out or grow out. I said, “Let’s go for it!” A combo of rose gold, pink, and lavender. And I love it. Why not have a little fun once in a while?

500-hour Training: Done. Certified!

Prenatal Training: Done! I’ll be certified after I teach 30 hours of classes. Looking foward to adding that certification to my credentials.

I’m pleased to have completed those two goals. And I’m also pleased to add classes to the studio’s schedule, especially in the “coming to the new normal” phase of this Covid-based reality we now occupy. My student-turned-teacher Mindy is teaching a class on Wednesday nights, “Yoga with Gratitude & Grace,” and I’m especially excited because Mindy is not only a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, but she’s also a certified ASL interpreter. On the list is for her to do a class for the deaf and hard-of-hearing community with me as the “student” so she can sign. Looking forward to that.

Fellow teacher Irene brings a Saturday Chair class to the schedule, for those who want to have the opportunity, but are unable to attend the Tuesday or Friday offerings. Of course, for folks who also want another opportunity to practice, they can join her class as well!

I feel a new energy coming in to the studio space. I admit that I was pretty concerned about the shut-down, and worried about investing in completing the trainings during the pandemic…it was a strategic decision to do that, but also — I wanted to do it for myself. Because it’s only by growing, continuing to learn, and experiencing new methods - that we as teachers, and human beings, continue to work toward being our best selves.

See you on the mat soon!

I Did A Thing...

So I did a thing. It’s something that I’ve had on my goal list since…2014? Mind you, I still haven’t gotten my 500-hr certificate yet, though I’m basically done with all the coursework. I still have the final workshop to do — which is a workshop that I develop, market, and execute. That outline and flyer have been sent to my mentor and I’ve already got it scheduled.

OK, I won’t keep you in suspense… I signed up for the 85-hour prenatal training at the only studio in Illinois which does this training. And why now, you may ask? Well, one of the BENEFITS of The Plague (always look on the bright side…cue Monty Python) is Zoom. So instead of trekking up past Chicago weekly, I’m doing the training virtually.

Normally, if I’m honest, I’m not keen on virtual training. But — I’m also not keen on gas over $4/gallon, commuting, spending money on hotel stays, “people-ing” with folks I don’t know. So virtual it is. It’s over 3 weekends, starting in May.

There’s a need for qualified, experienced prenatal teachers in our area and I’m looking forward to completing this training and being able to provide the classes for our community.

I have a lot of goals for my studio, “Post-Plague,” which I hope to accomplish. A bunch of them are, frankly, out of my control. I can’t control other people. I can’t control Covid variants. All I can do is the best to keep my students safe. I’m looking forward to this training, and providing another opportunity for building yoga community in our area.

Productivity

I found this image on Instagram, thanks to Dr. Mona Masood, DO, who has the handle of @shrink.rapping if you want to follow her.

And it struck me as particularly powerful, given our “busy is best” attitude, even after the plague, after enforced isolation, after family tragedies (what with Covid touching millions of lives, and “regular old death” not taking a holiday either). Like you, I saw the “I’m going to reorganize my house, bake all the bread, learn a new language, homeschool my kids, and be totally fit” posts that were all over social media. I will admit, I went on a knitting binge after losing a part-time job and having a bit of time where the studio was closed and we had to take a hot minute to figure out how to get classes to the students… I also baked a lot of bread, yes.

And I learned that “productivity” has lots of different meanings. Particularly after I got Covid, it had a whole different definition for me. There were days when, if I was “productive” it meant that out of 24 hours, I was awake more than I was asleep. I showered. I got up out of my chair for more than just a trip to the bathroom. I talked to someone on the phone or checked my emails.

Of course, that’s an extreme example, but it is something to think about. Now that we’re edging toward “new normal” in my area (only because the Omicron variant BA.2 is already in New Jersey, and I’m crossing my fingers that it dies out before it hits Indiana, our neighbor), I believe we want so badly to get back out-and-about that we are neglecting our need for pausing and resting. We are determined (and this isn’t a bad thing) to meet up with friends, get outside, do all the things we haven’t been able to do.

Fitness, physical activity, exercise - these are lofty goals, and I am also itching to get back on my bike to ride the trails, get back to the stable to shovel horse manure (hey, don’t laugh - it’s really good exercise!), even to go to the park and swing on the swings. I’m also happy to get back to practicing yoga without masks, including sun salutations and more active moves which were a struggle in a mask. And to embrace my interest in Yin Yoga and Yoga Nidra.

Those styles of yoga might be considered “unproductive” because they’re not active. They’re still, quiet. Yin Yoga consists of long-held floor poses, where your body assumes a particular shape and we sit with the breath and gravity. Yoga Nidra is “yogic sleep,” which many people think of as “a honking-long Savasana.” Which it’s not. It’s a state of relaxed awareness in which our body is supported, and we’re led through various visualizations, breathing patterns, and relaxation techniques. The mind stays alert, and the physical body goes into a state that can be described as a light state of near-sleep. It’s a wonderful practice, and again — not “productive,” not moving, not sweating.

Maybe we need to sit with this definition of “productivity” below. Embrace it. Learn to let go of the need to always be “doing,” but also recognize that sometimes “doing” doesn’t look like much. Even when it is.

Picking Up Pieces in 2022...

Well, 2022 has not started the way I would’ve liked.

After I got out of the hospital, my only, younger sister got a cancer diagnosis. And six weeks later, she died. I am shattered. And while I have tools to help, there’s a deep, deep grief that cannot be touched just yet. It bubbles up, it fades away, it then comes back at the oddest times. Which is, actually, normal.

I’m holding memories tight, breathing deeply, and letting the feelings happen. There’s no way “around” grief…there’s only “through.” And through is not a straight line. And it’s not always “through.” It’s the thing that happens to all of us eventually, and we are forever changed by it. There’s no trick. No magic button. No “going back.” There’s only going forward.

Speaking of forward, the good news about 2022 is that Omicron seems to have peaked here, and now the numbers are dropping like a rock in water. Of course, there are still variants, and we’re cautiously optimistic.

In light of that optimism, I’m doing a Yoga 101 at the studio, starting in March. For 5 Wednesdays, 6-7:15 p.m., in-person, we’ll start from the ground up…working on poses, adding a few each week. Check out the link here. There’s going to be time for Q & A, a bit of philosophy, a bit of anatomy. I like to tell you WHY as well as HOW, because this is a lifetime practice, and you need to know more than just “we do this in class.” Well…WHY do you do that? Yes, I was always that child who had a thousand “whys” to ask.

It’s February, and the weather has been…typical! We hear about “snowmageddon,” prepare for it, and about 50% of the time, we’re wrong! I guess that’s the true meaning of “flexibility” - to be prepared for any situation and just roll with it. Thank you for helping us roll with Mother Nature as she figures out what season she’s in!

Moving toward spring, if the numbers stay down and if people behave, we’ll be adding more workshops to the roster. On Friday, March 25, I’ll be hosting a Karma Yoga Nidra class, with a donation basket to benefit the Elizabeth Morman Nursing Scholarship (my sister’s legacy). The link here will enable you to register if you’re in the area.

I’ll be looking to expand the teaching staff, and will be in search of diversity in our teachers: BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ teachers welcome! We are a safe space, and we recognize that while we may be comfortable teaching people, there are students who want to see themselves at the front of the class. I look forward to the coming seasons as a teacher and as a studio owner, and I welcome you along for the journey!

I'm Still Here

It’s New Year’s Eve, 2021, and we’re staring down 2022…still in Covid-times, now dealing with the Omicron variant. There are lots of things I could say, but I won’t. I will, however, give you some perspective.

On New Year’s Day, 2021, I was diagnosed with Covid-19. I was lucky enough to be able to stay home to recuperate, but over this year, I dealt with long-haul issues, including the exacerbation of existing conditions I had. Unrelated to Covid, my A-fib came back late this year, and I had to have a couple of heart procedures this month, ending the year as I began: in the hospital. The upside was, having lost my sense of taste/smell in January 2021, I got it back after I was loaded up with medication to keep me from having a reaction to a necessary part of the angiogram: the contrast dye. I’m really allergic to it. So the bright side is, I can now taste & smell about 85% of the time.

But you know the most surprising thing? The hospital was going to send me home right after the procedure(s). Here I was, punctured by 2 IVs, one puncture in the right wrist from the angiogram, and two punctures in the groin (one in each hip crease), and the nurse said, “We’re sending you home.” Apparently, the hospital is overrun with Covid patients. I was pretty annoyed because these procedures collectively were no walk in the park. It wasn’t my spouse’s job to wake up every 2 hours to see if I was bleeding… So I said so. They allowed me to stay, but as of today, our local hospitals are no longer doing procedures that they can put off. I’m so happy that I was able to have this done, because my A-fib was really out of control.

I’m vax’d and boosted. We wear masks to practice. I’ve adapted every sequence I teach so that we’re able to get the most out of the practice without experiencing any discomfort by wearing the masks. It’s safe, and I’m determined to keep my students as safe and healthy as I can. I trust that my students will also practice the yogic concept of “ahimsa” - or non-harming. Of themselves or others.

I noted that the last entry I had mentioned “what have you done during the pandemic?” and that’s still a thing. And again, I turned to writing, contributing to The Ultimate Guide to Self-Healing, Volume 5, and editing a couple of collaborative projects for other authors.

And, as is normal and right, my yoga practice has evolved again. In 2021, I suffered a labrum tear in my left hip, so I am also rehabbing this by working with a yoga therapist. It’s a unique experience to work with a therapist who’s trained to use yoga like this. If you were watching our sessions, you’d wonder what we were doing, but each session is building on the next, and is helping me start from “the ground up” to help work with what I’ve got. Labrum tears don’t heal; you just hope you don’t tear it more. So it’s another round of “adapt your practice” and learning more.

I’m almost done with my 500-hour training, and have two more steps to complete. Looking forward then to completing a prenatal certification, doing more workshops and finding new and exciting ways to keep my students engaged and learning. Unlike many teachers, I actually enjoy teaching open classes. Yes, I like private sessions, but honestly, having a group of folks who want to engage in a weekly practice really lights me up! I’m always happy to see my regular students, as well as new faces in the studio!

I’ve got a limited number of author copies of all three of my books (all Amazon Best Sellers, by the way), The Ultimate Guide to Healing, Vol. 3; Wholehearted Wonder Women 50+; and The Ultimate Guide to Healing, Vol. 5 — and if you’re in the US and you’d like one personalized for yourself or a gift, please drop me a line here, or via the studio at info@just-breatheyoga.com — I’ll even mail it to you, postage on me!

My main message to you: Care for each other. Follow the Golden Rule. Wear your mask and avoid crowds. We can’t get through this individually. We can only get through it together. We’re on the same team, everyone. It’s time for us to remember that as we move into this new year full of possibilities. If only we’re willing to work together to make the virus a piece of our past rather than a recurring, present nightmare.

And another book!! Plus Updates...

So we’re within spitting distance of coming out of the COVID lockdown/shutdown thing, and I’m really excited.

I’m also surprised by the questions I see on the socials about “What have you done to improve yourself during this time?” Really? I’m just happy to have survived. On both a business and professional level. I mean, I didn’t have COVID as bad as some, but I’m still dealing with long-haul symptoms, including no taste/smell, and brain fog. The fatigue, thankfully, seems to be lifting. And yes, I did get my vaccinations. Pfizer is in the house!

And the studio is bowed but unbroken. We have a lot of rebuilding to do! I have confidence that we’ll be ok.

So, no. I did not reorganize all my closets; I did not learn a new language; I did not become 20 pounds thinner (though you’d think…). And honestly, I find this question offensive. So many people were devastated by this pandemic, and implying that if you did NOT “improve yourself,” you wasted your time? Check your privilege… How about we ask, “How are you doing?” rather than “What have you done?”

I did, however, end up writing another chapter in another book - almost by accident. I was not scheduled to be in this one, but because of a last-minute drop of one of the authors, I was able to join in. The book launched today: “Wholehearted Wonder Women 50+” is a lovely 22-chapter anthology written by women around the world. We tell our stories and we give you tools to help you. Coming from several countries, all of the women have compelling tales to tell. And you may not resonate with everyone, but I bet you’ll find something in there that will help you.

We are re-evaluating our studio schedule, and scheduling workshops. I’m going to be teaching a Yoga 101: From the Ground Up series, so if you’ve never done yoga, if you want to review your skills - this is the series for you! Look for some great classes on this blog and at our studio: www.just-breatheyoga.com.

I promise, I’ll be back here sooner rather than later - check me out on Facebook for free meditation sessions and other tools. Once I can talk without feeling like I’ve gone 10 rounds with Sugar Ray Robinson, I’ll be back in front of the camera!

I Honestly Wasn't Expecting...

…to have this much time pass.

Truly, 2016??? A LOT has happened. Most of it good, some crap. Thus is the circle of life without the serenade by Elton John.

I have been concentrating really hard on the studio side and not on my own “brand” side (I really hate that language, but I can’t think of a better way to put it, so bear with me).

The best news is, I’M GOING TO BE PUBLISHED IN A BOOK! I’m writing a chapter in a book that’s part of a series on self-care tools. My section will be breathing techniques using visualization.

I’m really excited about this.

I’m not so excited about COVID-19 and the impact it’s had on my studio. Of course, we were closed. We’re lucky we’re in Illinois (and there you go — how often have you heard a native Illinoisian say that?). Our governor took a firm stance, brooked no foolishness and we moved through the plan set out decades ago by the Illinois Department of Public Health. We’re now in Phase 4 and hoping mightily that we stay there for a while. That simply means that we, as a yoga studio, can open. With lots of restrictions, but we can open.

What I’m not jazzed about is the incredible selfishness and denial of science. I’d wish for better - I believe people can do better - but I’m currently discouraged.

In the studio, we must require that you:

1. Pre-register for class (payment when you walk in)

2. Bring your own props

3. Wear a mask into and out of the studio

4. Observe strict social distancing

We’ve done what we can do to make sure you’re safe; we’ve got “touchless everything” and almost 7 feet between students; thus, class sizes are limited to 11 students for now. Crikey - we’re not even accepting cash; pre-written checks or credit/debit only. (You knew cash was pretty filthy, right?)

So. Register for our classes. Watch for more info on the book! Watch this spot because I’m back!!!

PS: Yes, there’s TOTALLY a reason there’s a wooden spoon in that picture…

Meditation on Meditation...

For some time now, I've been working on making meditation a daily practice. I mean, not only what I do with my classes, in front of my students. But what I do for me. Myself. Each day. Every day. Without fail. 

And...some days, it works better than others. And you know what? That's fine. Because that's how it works. It works that way with asana as well - some days you feel as if everything's clicking on all cylinders, and others? Uttanasana (forward fold) doesn't even seem to work. 

We work with what we're given every single day. If you're like me, you may have some physical challenges. Mine are pretty specific: arthritis in my back, hips and hands. There are days when I feel fantastic. I've slept well, I feel the energy - I actually FEEL it. Then there are other days. I haven't slept well, there's stress at "the day job," maybe I've even slept so deeply that I haven't moved much...which causes me to be stiff the next day. 

My mind is like that (and so is yours, by the way). Some days, I can sit and breathe and meditate for 5 or 10 or 15 minutes (which is usually all the time I have). Other days, I'm lucky if I remember that I have a meditation practice at all. 

My suggestion to you, in starting a meditation practice, is to take it easy on yourself. For your first session, set your timer for just a few minutes. Seriously, no longer than 5 minutes. And then sit. Breathe. Let what comes, come. If thoughts race (and they will), then that's what your meditation is for that day. If you get a moment of "calm" - then, great! That's what your meditation is for that day. 

Studying with a teacher to help learn new techniques is a great step. Meditation is a great tool in your practice; finding the best technique for you will only enhance your practice. 

Begin Anywhere...

Sometimes, our beginnings are momentous. Sometimes our beginnings are quiet, almost unrecognized as a true beginning.

My start in yoga was like that. I started yoga to be easy in my body; to get a handle on handling the creaks and crunches of arthritis. 

What I found was something that transformed my life in many different ways. I learned breathing techniques that helped me sleep. I learned movements that helped me become stronger. I learned meditation and how to keep still and let the moments happen. This helped me deal with stress and chaos. 

I want to share that with you. Come, join me on my journey. Let's talk. Let's build a community. Let's be the change we want to see. It starts with us.